Being alone vs being lonely

Lately I have been talking to a few people about spending time alone. It’s been pretty interesting hearing different opinions varying from “I enjoy being alone more than being around people.” to “I get really depressed when I have to spend a Friday night alone.”

Since I’m currently sick with a cold and therefore forced to stay at home by myself I’m also alone 24/7. Hence I have thought about it a little more.


I have actually always been more of an introverted person. That doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy the company of others. I just also can enjoy my own company a lot and at times I even crave some time alone and in these moments being around people drives me crazy. Therefore I know that during times when my schedule is really busy I have to block some Sunday mornings for example just for “me-time”. Which means no brunch dates, no phone calls, no texting, not even social media. Just my thoughts and I accompanied by a cup of tea and a notepad and I just start writing down what’s on my mind. I also don’t mind going to the movies by myself or travel on my own, it doesn’t make me feel lonely because I feel like I’m in good company with just myself.

Then there were times in my life where it wasn’t just a Sunday morning that I had to spend on my own but rather a few weeks. For example when I first moved to the US as an Au Pair or when I went to Cambodia for a month for an internship. Of course I met people and interacted with people there but a lot of the time I was just by myself and not one second have I felt lonely.

Then again there have been moments in my life when I was in the middle of a group of people and felt as lonely as one can be. I had these moments especially during my time at high school when I was struggling to fit in and tried to be someone I just was not. I didn’t like myself back then and I hated that I had to be a certain type of person to not end up being the one who’s getting bullied.

So I think the line between being alone and being lonely is nothing that’s happening outside. It doesn’t have anything to do with how many people you are surrounded by. It’s something that’s happening inside of you. You have to be in good terms with yourself to be able to actually enjoy spending time on your own.

What are your thoughts about this topic? Do you like being alone or does it make you feel lonely?

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1 Comment

  1. Julia, I totally relate to this! I really enjoy my own time, and I think that’s a good thing! We need to learn to love being with ourselves before we can love anybody else! Well that’s my motto anyway. And it’s strange because now you have me thinking even though I love being alone, I’ve never felt “alone”.

    Lovely post that’s made me feel good about being happy with just me! 😘 Ps. Hope you’re feeling better soon! xx

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